Get Best Collection of Good One Liners, Good Quotes, Good Jokes…

Funny Good One Liners

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

A day for firm decisions! Or is it?

A dog has an owner. A cat has a staff.

All power corrupts. Absolute power is pretty neat, though.

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

Am I ambivalent? Well, yes and no.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Bombs don’t kill people, explosions kill people.

Bureaucrats cut red tape, lengthwise.

Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Everybody repeat after me: “We are all individuals.”

These are all types of Funny Good One Liners. If you like these Good One Liners then please share them with your friends so that they can also checkout these.

Read more in next pages…

Failure is not an option. It’s bundled with your software.

Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy!

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand!

I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

I don’t have a solution, but I do admire the problem.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

If I want your opinion, I’ll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.

If nothing was learned, nothing was taught.

If you are here – who is running hell?

I got lost in thoughts. It was unfamiliar territory.

Isn’t it scary that doctors call what they do “practice”?

I started with nothing, and I still have most of it.

I think sex is better than logic, but I can’t prove it.

I want patience – AND I WANT IT NOW!!!!

I want to go to IKEA, hide in a wardrobe, wait for someone to open it and yell “WELCOME TO NARNIA”.

I would like to slip into something more comfortable – like a coma.

Jesus loves you, it’s everybody else that thinks you’re an a…

Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass … it’s about learning to dance in the rain!

Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.

My mind’s made up, don’t confuse me with facts.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it.

Sounds like its time to get that Enterprise built!

Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.

Sure, I’d love to help you out … now, which way did you come in?

Take my advice — I’m not using it.

Talk is cheap. Until you hire a lawyer.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

The last thing I want to do is insult you. But it IS on the list.

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

The problem with sex in the movies is, that the popcorn usually spills.

The problem with trouble shooting is that trouble shoots back.

There is no dance without the dancers.

Time does’nt exist. Clocks exists.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

Treat each day as your last; one day you will be right.

Under my gruff exterior lies an even gruffer interior.

Welcome to Utah: set your watch back 20 years.

When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.

When your only tool is a hammer, all problems start looking like nails.

Which one of these is the non-smoking lifeboat?

You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes, and you will learn a lot today.

The post Good One Liners | Funny Good Jokes | Mgstatus.com appeared first on Best Whatsapp Status Quotes Collection.

Get Best Collection of Life One Liners, Life Quotes, One Liners on Life, Life Jokes…

Funny Life One Liners

Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Aren’t I lucky, to have survived so much bad luck.

Good times end too quickly. Bad times go on forever.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

I intend to live forever… or die trying.

I ordered a wake-up call the other day – the phone rang and a woman’s voice said, ‘What the heck are you doing with your life?’

Is it a progress if a cannibal is using a knife and fork?

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

I wanna live ’til I die, no more, no less.

Life: A sexually transmitted disease with 100% fatality rate.

Life is just a bowl of pits.

Life is one long process of getting tired.

Nietzsche says that we will live the same life, over and over again… Great, I’ll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.

Probably the toughest time in anyone’s life is when you have to murder a loved one because they’re the devil.

These are all types of Funny Life One Liners. If you like these Life One Liners then please share them with your friends so that they can also checkout these.

Read more in next pages…

The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.

The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.

There is never enough time, unless you’re serving it.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

You’re supposed to eat the cows; they’re great big lumbering stupid things – they’d be everywhere if we didn’t eat them.

You will never have more energy or enthusiasm, hair, or brain cells than you have today.

The post Life One Liners | Funny Life Jokes | Mgstatus.com appeared first on Best Whatsapp Status Quotes Collection.

Get Best Collection of Inspirational One Liners, Inspirational Quotes, Inspirational Jokes…

Inspirational One Liners

100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?

A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

A genius lives in every one of us. Each day more and more heavily…

Always identify who to blame in an emergency.

An optimist believes that we live in the best world. A pessimist is afraid that it might be true.

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.

Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.

Don’t be irreplaceable – if you cannot be replaced, you cannot be promoted.

Don’t be nervous if someone is driving ahead of you- the world is round, just think that you’re driving first!

Don’t let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case.

Dont be afraid to stand for what you believe in, even if that means standing alone.

Dream carefully, because dreams come true.

Everything always ends well. If not – it’s probably not the end.

Everything is rightly confused.

Everything you do you’re gonna regret. But if you do nothing – you will not only regret but will also suffer.

Failure is not falling down, it is not getting up again.

These are all types of Funny Inspirational One Liners. If you like these Inspirational One Liners then please share them with your friends so that they can also checkout these.

Read more in next pages…

Five Secrets of Successful People:1. Don’t 2. Tell 3. Anyone 4. Your 5. Secrets

God gave us the brain to work out problems. However, we use it to create more problems.

How come “you’re a peach” is a complement but “you’re bananas” is an insult? Why are we allowing fruit discrimination to tear society apart?

How do construction workers party? they raise the roof.

However lonely you feel, you’re never alone. There are literally millions of bugs, mites and bacteria living in your house. Goodnight.

I’ve only been wrong once, and that’s when I thought I was wrong.

I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect.

I bet you I could stop gambling.

If at first you don’t succeed, blame someone else and seek counseling.

If someone is spitting behind you, it means you’re in front.

If the fortune has turned her back on you, you can do whatever you want behind her back.

If you’re going through Hell, keep going.

If you can’t beat the record, you can beat up its owner.

If you don’t like my opinion of you – improve yourself!

Improve your memory by doing unforgettable things.

I really lack the words to compliment myself today.

It’s just a bad day, not a bad life.

It’s not how good your work is, it’s how well you explain it.

It’s not what man can create it’s what man can become.

It doesn’t matter how much you work, there will always be an asshole that works less but gets more.

I think they picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I’m around!

I wanted to lose 10 pounds this year. Only 13 to go.

Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.

Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.

Mattel has a campaign urging girls to pursue their limitless potential. It’s called You Can Be Anything Except A Woman With Barbie’s Body.

My annual performance review says I lack “passion & intensity”, guess management hasn’t seen me alone with a Big Mac.

Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.

Nothing is fool proof to a sufficiently talented fool.

Some people say “If you can’t beat them, join them”. I say “If you can’t beat them, beat them”, because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.

Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.

Tequila is a good drink: you drink it and you feel like a cactus; the only problem is that in the morning the thorns grow inward.

The deeper the pit you’re falling into, the more chance you have to learn how to fly.

The light at the end of the tunnel – are the front lights of a train.

The only knowledge that can hurt you is the knowledge you don’t have.

The road to success is always under construction.

The sun is going to go out in 4 billion years, and you sit there and act like everything is fine.

This isn’t working out. I think we should start making other people miserable.

Tomorrow: The best labor saving device of today.

We can’t help everyone, but everyone can help someone.

We need to look at how the world really works, not just accept the way we are told it works.

Whatever you do always give 100 %. Unless you are donating blood.

Whenever you get mad, just think of a t-rex trying to masturbate.

Whoever said nothing is impossible is a liar. I’ve been doing nothing for years.

Why is the day that you do laundry, cook, clean, iron and so on, called a day off?

Why kill time when you can make it work for you?

You’re not fat, you’re just… easier to see.

You’re not sure – outrun and make sure.

You can do more with a kind word and a gun than with just a kind word.

Your life doesn’t get better by chance. It gets better by choice.

The post Inspirational One Liners | Funny Inspirational Jokes | Mgstatus.com appeared first on Best Whatsapp Status Quotes Collection.

Get Best Collection of Clever One Liners, Clever Quotes, Clever Jokes…

Funny Clever One Liners

A friend in need is a pest indeed.

All’s well that ends.

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

Avoid cliches like the plague.

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

Error, no keyboard — press F1 to continue.

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want.

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

Hard work has a future payoff. – Laziness pays off now.

I’m as confused as a baby in a topless bar.

I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

If you’re right 98% of the time, why quibble about the remaining 3%?

I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.

Check Also:

Good One Liners
Life One Liners
Animal One Liners

These are all types of Funny Clever One Liners. If you like these Clever One Liners then please share them with your friends so that they can also checkout these.

Read more in next pages…

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

Laugh at your problems; everybody else does.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

Never wrestle with a pig: You both get all dirty, and the pig likes it.

Old soldiers never die; young ones do.

Sometimes too much drink is not enough.

The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.

There’s too much blood in my caffeine system.

There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.

This is as bad as it can get, but don’t bet on it.

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

What is a ‘free’ gift? – Aren’t all gifts free?

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard drive?

You cannot tell which way the train went by looking at the track.

The post Clever One Liners | Funny Clever Jokes | Mgstatus.com appeared first on Best Whatsapp Status Quotes Collection.

Get Best Collection of Hate Status for Whatsapp , I Hate U Status…

These are all types of Hate Status. If you like these Hate Status for Whatsapp then please share them with your friends so that they can also checkout these.

Hate Status for Whatsapp

न्हाई में अकेलापन सहा जायेगा,
लेकीन महफ़िल में अकेले रहा न जायेगा,
आपका साथ न हो तो भी जी लेंगे,
पर साथ आपके कोई और हो तो सहा न जायेगा…

झ़ुठा अपनापन तो हर कोई जताता है,
वो अपना ही क्या जो हरपल सताता है,
यकीन न करना हर किसी पे,
क्यू की करीब है कितना कोई ये तो वक़्त ही बताता है…

किसी के हक़ मे ही सही वो दुआ तो करे,
वो कह नही सकती मेरी सुना तो करे,
मे लौट जाऊंगा अपनी उदास दुनिया मे,
वो मुझसे बिछड़ने का फैसला तो करे…

Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so.

I’d like to see things from your point of view but I can’t seem to get my head that far up my ass.

I’m not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

If someone hates you for no reason, give that motherfucker –

I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious.

I hate two-faced people. It’s so hard to decide which face to slap first.

I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.

I have never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don’t listen, they don’t come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they’re home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

I know that there are people who don’t love their fellow man – I hate those people.

I love oral sex… it’s the phone bill I hate.

Men mostly hate two words: ‘not’ and ‘enough’… unless you say them together.

Check Also:
Alone Whatsapp Status
Inspirational Status for Whatsapp

Read more in next pages…

The three words most hated by men during sex? “Are you In?” or “Is It In?”

What are the three words that men hate to hear during sex? “Are you done?”

What are the three words women hate to hear during sex? “Honey, I’m home!”

Which day do chickens hate the most? Friday.

Why do blacks smell? So blind people can hate them too.

Wow, this article looks awesome. *clicks link* *finds out it’s a slideshow* *throws computer out the window*

Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so.

I’d like to see things from your point of view but I can’t seem to get my head that far up my ass.

I’m not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

If someone hates you for no reason, give that motherfucker a reason.

I hate girls that complain about being single every 3 minutes. 90% of my socks are single & you don’t see them crying about it.

I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious.

I hate two-faced people. It’s so hard to decide which face to slap first.

I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.

I have never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don’t listen, they don’t come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they’re home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

I know that there are people who don’t love their fellow man – I hate those people.

I love oral sex… it’s the phone bill I hate.

Men mostly hate two words: ‘not’ and ‘enough’… unless you say them together.

The three words most hated by men during sex? “Are you In?” or “Is It In?”

What are the three words that men hate to hear during sex? “Are you done?”

What are the three words women hate to hear during sex? “Honey, I’m home!”

Which day do chickens hate the most? Friday.

Why do blacks smell? So blind people can hate them too.

Wow, this article looks awesome. *clicks link* *finds out it’s a slideshow* *throws computer out the window*

The post Hate Status for Whatsapp | I Hate U Status appeared first on Best Whatsapp Status Quotes Collection.

Get Best Collection of Death Status for Whatsapp , I Hate U Status…

These are all types of Death Status. If you like these Death Status for Whatsapp then please share them with your friends so that they can also checkout these.

Death Status for Whatsapp

According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.

Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.

Death is not the greatest loss in life the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.

Death is not the opposite of life, but a part of it.

Death is the last intimate thing we ever do.

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, but love leaves a memory that no one can steal.

Don’t worry everyone dies eventually.

Do not seek death. Death will find you. But seek the road which makes death a fulfillment.

Give a man a fish, and you’ll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he’ll starve to death while praying for a fish.

How is it that I always seem to buy the plants without the will to live?

I’ve spent the past four years looking for my ex-girlfriend’s killer, but no one will do it.

I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

If you don’t live for something, you will die for nothing.

If you heard that i died, don’t cry for me this won’t bring me back to life, just pray for me because i will need it.

It takes the sadness of life to appreciate the beaty of death.

Read more in next pages…

It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there’s shipping and handling, too.

Judge if you want, we are all going to die.

Life a lot hurts more than death.

Life is a brief intermission, between birth and death, enjoy it.

Oxygen is proven to be a toxic gas. Anyone who inhales oxygen will normally dies within 80 years.

Smoking is a slow death! But we’re not in a hurry…

Sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your mind already knows.

The acceptance of death gives you more of a stake in life, in living life happily, as it should be lived. Living for the moment.

The day of my birth, my death began its walk. It is walking toward me, without hurring.

The only people who fear death are those with regrets.

There is no death. Only a change of worlds.

The tragedy of life is not death but what we let die inside of us while we live.

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.

We only realizze how much someone means to us, when they are no longer with us.

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why name hurricanes lame names, like Sandy? Name that shit Hurricane Death Megatron 300 and I guarantee niggas be evacuating like they need to.

The post Death Status for Whatsapp & Facebook in English appeared first on Best Whatsapp Status Quotes Collection.

Get Best Collection of Rude Status for Whatsapp…

These are all types of Rude Status. If you like these Rude Status for Whatsapp then please share them with your friends so that they can also checkout these.

Rude Status for Whatsapp

Attitude होने से कुछ नही होता, Smile ऐसी दो के लोगों का दिल जीत ले.

Teri EGO Toh 2 Din Ki Kahani He Per Meri Akad Toh Khandaani He…

अंजाम कि परवा होती तो हम इश्क करना छोड देते इश्क ज़िद करता है और ज़िद के हम पक्के है !

उसने कहा मत देख मेरे सपने, मुझे पाने की तेरी औकात नही मेंने भी हस कर कहा ; पगली आना हो तो आजा मेरे सपनो मे हकीकत मे आने की तेरी औकात नही !

चलो आज चक्कर लगाने जाते हे दुश्मन की गली मे देखना हे अपने दिल की धड़कन तेज होती हे या दुश्मन की!

नजर‬ झुका के बात कर ‪पगली, जीतने तेरे पास ‪#‎कपडे‬ नही होन्गे, ‪‎उतने‬ तो मे रोज ‪#‎लफडे‬ करता हुं !

पगली ब्लोक कर के तो चली गई, पर आज भी मेरे Whatsapp के स्टेटस पढ़ के ही सोती है.

पेहले भी हम थे कल भी हम हि रहेंगे ना हमारी कोई जगा ले सकेगा ना हम उसे अपनी जगा लेने देंगे !

लोगो के ब्लड गुप मे (+) ओर (-) आता हे, ओर हमारे ब्लड गुप मे Attitude आता है.

हमसेँ #मुकाबला करनेँ से पेहले दो बात ध्यान मेँ रख बेटा भौकने वाले कुत्ते कभी काटंते नही और चुप चाप बैठा हुआ शेर दुसरा मौका कभी देता नही !

Dear haters, my personality is far from your reality…

Every time u look at my dp u stop and stare why dont u download this..

I am a rude person by birth but I know who deal with it.

I am single because God is busy writing the best love story for me…

If I treated you the way you treat me, you would hate my guts.

Read more in next pages…

If you check my Dp regularly then you are not my Friend you are my fan

Ignorance is bliss and bullets are cheap…. Have a nice day!

It’s a rather rude gesture, but at least it’s clear what you mean…

I’m in my happy place . . . PLEASE DON’T RUIN IT!

My atittude make my style Whats urs…? Copyinge me? :p

Never look down on anybody unless you’re helping him up.

Rude kind of verse can be your first stage of romance.

Some people are like clouds when they go away the day gets brighter.

The more I think of you, the less I think of you.

Without learning good manners you can win a game of rudeness.

The post Rude Status for Whatsapp | Best Rude People Status appeared first on Best Whatsapp Status Quotes Collection.

Krishna Janmashtami is celebration of Lord Krishna’s birth. Our Janmashtami Status for Whatsapp in hindi, Sms, wishes, quotes, messages will help you want your good friends and loved ones a delighted Janmashtami. Janmashtami events are executed across globe by the lovers and also fans of Shri Krishna.

Janmashtami Status in Hindi

Celebrating Lord Krishna’s B’day Helps In Awakening Our Spirit & Reminds Us Of His Presence Always!

अच्युयत्म केशवं कृष्ण दामोदरं राम नारायणं जानकी वल्लभं … HAPPY JANMASHTMI..

आओ मिलकर सजाये नन्दलाल को, आओ मिलकर करें उनका गुणगान! जो सबको राह दिखाते हैं, और सबकी बिगड़ी बनाते हैं! शुभ जन्मआष्ट्मी!

ओ पालन हारे निर्गुण ओ न्यारे… तुमरे बिन हमरा कउनु नाहीं … हमारी उलझन सुलझाओ भगवन .. तुम्हे हमको है संभाले , तुम्ही हमारे रखवाले

कन्हिया की महिमा , कन्हिया का प्यार ,’कन्हिया में श्रद्धा , कन्हिया से संसार , मुबारक हो आपको जन्माष्टमी का त्यौहार। बोलो राधे राधे। ….

कान्हा!! ओ ! कान्हा आन पड़ी मैं तेरे द्वार… ओ !! कान्हा। … मोहे चाकर समझ निहार.. कान्हा आन पड़ी मैं तेरे द्वार ….

कान्हा रे थोड़ा सा प्यार दे , चरणों में बैठा के तार दे… जय श्री कृष्ण

RADHE KRISHNA What Does it Mean?
Just Think Speak These Words Very Slow
RAAH-DE KRISHNA
Means Give Me Direction..!
HAPPY JANMASHTMI..

Best Janmashtami Status

कृष्णा जिनका नाम , गोकुल जिनका धाम , ऐसे श्री कृष्णा भगवान् को हम सब का प्रणाम , जन्माष्टमी की हार्दिक शुभ कामनाएँ।

कृष्णा जिनका नाम , गोकुल जिनका धाम , ऐसे श्री कृष्णा भगवान् को हम सब का प्रणाम , जन्माष्टमी की हार्दिक शुभ कामनाएँ।

गोकुल में जिसने किया निवास, उसने गोपियों के संग रचा इतिहास , देवकी-यशोदा जिनकी मैया , ऐसे ही हमारे कृषण कन्हैया! शुभ जन्मआष्ट्मी!

जन्माष्टमी के इस अवसर पर , हम ये कामना करते हैं कि श्री कृष्ण की कृपा आप पर, और आपके पूरे परिवार पर हमेशा बनी रहे। Jai Shree Krishna.

नन्द के घर आनंद भयो, हाथी घोड़ा पालकी, जय कन्हैया लाल की! शुभ जन्मआष्ट्मी!

Janmashtami Status Quotes in Hindi

नन्द के घर आनंद भयो , हाथी घोड़ा पालकी, जय कन्हैया लाल की! शुभ जन्मआष्ट्मी!

नन्द के घर आनंद ही आनंद भयो ,जो नन्द के घर गोपाल आयो , जय हो मुरलीधर गोपाल की , जय हो कन्हिया लाल की Happy Janmashtami.

पलकें झुकें , और नमन हो जाए… मस्तक झुके, और वंदन हो जाए… ऐसी नज़र, कंहाँ से लाऊँ, मेरे कन्हैया … कि ……आप को याद करूँ ,और आपके, दर्शन हो जाए…जय श्री कृष्णा

प्रेम से श्री कृष्ण का नाम जपो , दिल की हर इच्छा पूरी होगी , कृष्ण आराधना में तल्लीन हो जाओ , उनकी महिमा जीवन खुशहाल कर देगी।

बाल रूप है सब को भाता माखन चोर वो कहलाया है, आला आला गोविंदा आला बाल ग्वालों ने शोर मचाया है, झूम उठे हैं सब ख़ुशी में, देखो मुरली वाला आया है, कृष्णा जन्माष्टमी की बधाई!”

माखन -चोर नन्द -किशोर , बाँधी जिसने प्रीत की डोर , हरे कृष्णा हरे मुरारी , पूजती जिन्हें दुनिया सारी , आओ उनके गुण गायें , सब मिलके जन्माष्टमी मनाएँ।

माखन का कटोरा , मिश्री का थाल , मिट्टी की खुशबू , बारिश की फुहार , राधा की उम्मीद कन्हिया का प्यार , मुबारक हो आपको जन्माष्टमी का त्यौहार।

माखन चुराकर जिसने खाया , बंसी बजाकर जिसने नचाया , ख़ुशी मनाओ उनके जन्मदिन की , जिसने दुनिया को प्रेम का रास्ता दिखाया। .. Wish u very happy shri krishan janmastami

माखन चोर नन्द किशोर, बांधी जिसने प्रीत की डोर,हरे कृष्ण हरे मुरारी,पुजती जिन्हें दुनिया सारी, आओ उनके गुण गाएं सब मिल के जन्माष्टमी मनाये!”

राधा की चाहत है कृष्णा , उनके दिल की विरासत है कृष्णा , चाहे कितना भी रास रच ले कृष्णा , दुनिया तो फिर भी यही कहती है ” राधे – कृष्णा ” HAPPY JANAMASHTMI

राधा की भक्ति , मुरली की मिठास , माखन का स्वाद और गोपियों का रास , सब मिलके बनाते हैं जन्माष्टमी का दिन ख़ास। …

राधे -राधे जपो चले आएंगे बिहारी , आएंगे बिहारी चले आएंगे बिहारी। .. राधे – राधे। .. happy janamashtmi

राधे जी का प्रेम , मुरली की मिठास , माखन का स्वाद , गोपियों का रास , इन्ही से मिलके बनता है जन्माष्टमी का दिन ख़ास। . .. Happy janmashtami!

श्री कृष्ण के कदम आपके घर आये , आप खुशियों के डीप जलाएँ , परेशानी आपसे आँखे चुराएँ , कृष्णा जन्मोस्तव की आप सबको शुभकामनायें।

श्री कृष्ण गोविन्द हरे मुरारी , हे नाथ नारायण वासुदेवा , एक मात स्वामी सखा हमारे , हे नाथ नारायण वासुदेवा.. जय श्री कृष्ण

श्री कृष्ण गोविन्द हरे मुरारी , हे नाथ नारायण वासुदेवा , एक मात स्वामी सखा हमारे , हे नाथ नारायण वासुदेवा। .. जय श्री कृष्ण

होता है प्यार क्या ??? दुनिया को जिसने बताया …. दिल के रिश्तों को जिसने प्रेम से सजाया … आज उन श्री कृष्ण का जन्मदिन है हैप्पी बर्थडे कृष्ण जी

Hey good friends thank you for visiting our site return for more krishna janmashtami messages, sms, introductions, wishes, quotes, status and also far more. Share this remarkable krishna janmashtami quotes and status to your friends and family.

The post Janmashtami Status | Quotes | Sms | Wishes in Hindi appeared first on Best Whatsapp Status Quotes Collection.

Onam Whatsapp Dp, Wallpapers, Pictures, Images 2016: Sharing with you best collection of Onam Dp for Whatsapp, Hd Wallpaper, Pictures, Onam Images. If you Celebrate Onam then below we Share some best collection of Onam Images.

You Can also Use to your Computer Wallpaper, Mobile Background Images, Whatsapp Profile Dp, Facebook Cover Image etc. Onam is Best Harvest Festival Celebrate in Kerala Only. Onam is Celebrate on 13 September, 2016.

Onam Whatsapp Dp

Onam Images

Onam Wallpaper for Pc

Onam Hd Wallpaper

Happy Onam Images 2016

Happy Onam Pictures

Happy Onam 2016

Tags:

Onam Whatsapp Dp
Onam Wallpapers 2016
Onam Pictures
Onam Images

The post Onam Whatsapp Dp, Wallpapers, Pictures, Images 2016 appeared first on Best Whatsapp Status Quotes Collection.

Get Best Collection of Black One Liners, Black Quotes, Black Jokes…

Black One Liners

Did you hear about Ku Klux Knievel? He tried to jump over 8 blacks with a steam roller.

Father’s day, the most confusing day in the ghetto.

George washington said “We would have a black president when pigs fly!” … well, swine flu.

How can you tell a black person is lying? His lips are moving.

How did they improve the transportation in Harlem? Moved the trees closer together.

How did they invent break dancing? Trying to steal the hubcaps off a moving car.

How does a black chick tell if she’s pregnant? When she pulls the tampon out, all the cotton is already picked.

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Cut the rope.

How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Hang one in the front!

How do you know Adam and Eve weren’t black? Ever try and take a rib from a black.

How do you make a black nervous? Take him to an auction.

How do you start a black parade? Roll a 40 down the street.

How long does it take a black lady to shit? About 9 months.

If I were a dog would you help me bury my bone?

Olympic track makes you feel like you witnesed a crime, because you hear a gunshot and then see a bunch of black guys hauling ass.

These are all types of Funny Black One Liners. If you like these Black One Liners then please share them with your friends so that they can also checkout these.

Read more in next pages…

Some people have skeletons in their closet. I have a whole graveyard!

Son asking father. Why are niggers so black daddy? Well son, whip this one while I think about it.

What’s the definition of black foreplay? Don’t scream or I’ll kill you.

What’s the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins “Once upon a time …” A southern fairytale begins “Y’all ain’t gonna believe this shit …”

What’s the diffrence between a black guy and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

What did the black girl say while having sex? Dad get off me your crushing my ciggies.

What did the black women get for getting an abortion? Fat cash from crime stoppers.

What does NAACP stand for? National Association of Apes Called People.

What does a black person get for Christmas? Your bike.

What does it mean when you see a bunch of blacks running in one direction? Jail break.

What do they do with blacks after they die? Gut them and use them as wetsuits.

What do u call 1,000 black people on a plane back to Africa? A good start.

What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float? You turn on the lights and shoot the black guy stealing it.

What do you call 100 niggers on the bottom of the sea? A good start.

What do you call a black guy who goes to college? A Basketball player.

What do you call a black guy with a fan? Antique air conditioner.

What do you call a black man in a tree? A branch manager.

What do you call a black priest? Holy Shit.

What do you call a black with no arms? Trustworthy.

What do you call one black on the moon? Problem. What do you call ten blacks on the moon? Problems. What do you call the entire black population on the moon? Problem solved.

What is the difference between a black and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

What is the world’s biggest oxymoron. Black People.

What travels at 200km’s a hour? A black man hearing a dollar drop to the ground.

What u call 10 black people in the back of a truck? A good days hunting.

Why are aspirins white? Because they work.

Why are black guys eyes red after sex? From the pepper spray.

Why are black peoples nostrils so big? Because that’s what God held them by when he was painting them.

Why did God create black men? So fat white girls could dance (and get laid).

Why did God give Black guy’s big dicks? He felt sorry for putting pubes on their heads.

Why do blacks raise chickens? To teach their kids how to walk.

Why do blacks smell? So blind people can hate them too.

Why do blacks wear white gloves? So they don’t bite their fingers eating tootsie rolls.

Why do black women where high heels? So their knuckles don’t drag.

Why don’t blacks like Tylenol? They have to pick cotton to get to them.

Why dont blacks celibrate thanksgiving? KFC isnt open on holidays.

Why is Stevey Wonder Smiling all the time? He doesn’t know he’s black.

Why is there cotton in pill bottles? To remind black people that they were cotton pickers before drug dealers.

Why wasnt there any blacks in the flintstones? Because they were still monkeys.

The post Black One Liners appeared first on Best Whatsapp Status Quotes Collection.

Get Best Collection of Blonde One Liners, Blonde Quotes, Blonde Jokes…

Blonde One Liners

A blonde said, “I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn-signal fluid.”

How do blonde braincells die? Alone.

How does a blonde high-five? She smacks herself in the forehead.

How do you confuse a blonde? You don’t. They’re born that way!

How do you get a blonde to marry you? Tell her she’s pregnant.

How do you make a blonde’s eyes light up? Shine a flashlight in their ear.

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Tell her a joke on Wednesday!

I’m blonde. What’s your excuse?

I’m not dumb, I just have a lot of blonde moments.

If pink and glitter were vitamins blondes would be the healthiest people alive.

We all have one ginger friend that claims to be “strawberry blonde”.

What’s the difference between a blonde and a computer? You only have to punch information into a computer once.

What’s the difference between a blonde and a guy? The blonde has the higher sperm count.

What’s the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking when you smack it.

What’s the difference between a blonde and a washing machine? They both drip when they’re fucked.

These are all types of Funny Blonde One Liners. If you like these Blonde One Liners then please share them with your friends so that they can also checkout these.

Read more in next pages…

Related One Liners you May Like:

• Black One Liners
• Clever One Liners
• Inspirational One Liners
• Life One Liners

What’s the difference between a bowling ball and a blonde? You can only fit three fingers inside a bowling ball!

What’s the first thing a blonde does in the morning? Introduces themself.

What are the worst six years in a blonde’s life? Third Grade!

What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it? A thought.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? “Are you sure it’s mine?”

What did the blonde say when she saw Cheerios? Donut seeds.

What did the blonde say when someone blew in her ear? Thanks for the refill.

What do blondes do after they comb their hair? They pull up their pants.

What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common? They’ve both swallowed a lot of seamen.

What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A mental block.

What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? Hide-and-go-seek winner from last year.

What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde’s head? A Space Invader.

What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.

What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? Artificial intelligence.

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

What do you give the blonde that has everything? Penicillin.

What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs? Nice tits!

What is a blonde’s favorite color? Glitter.

What is a blonde’s favorite fairy tale? Humpme Dumpme!

What is it called when a blonde blows in another blond’s ear? Data transfer.

What is the difference betwen a blonde and a Lamborghini? You don’t let your friends borrow your Lamborghini.

Why are blondes so easy to get into bed? Who cares?

Why can’t blondes count to 70? Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful.

Why did the blonde scale the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.

Why did the blonde stare at a frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? Because it said “concentrate”!

Why did the blond get fired from the banana plantation? Because she threw out all the bent ones.

Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes? Toes go in first!

Why do blondes wear underwear? To keep their ankles warm.

Why does a blonde wear green lipstick? Because red means Stop.

Why does a blond wear a tight skirt? To keep here legs closed.

Why doesn’t a blonde talk during sex? Because her mother told her never to talk to strangers.

Why do only 20 percent of blonde chicks lay Easter eggs? The rest are hunting peckers.

Why is 68 the maximum speed for blondes? Because at 69 they blow a rod.

Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? You can park in the handicap zone.

Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks? It takes too long to retrain them.

The post Blonde One Liners appeared first on Best Whatsapp Status Quotes Collection.

Get Best Collection of Car One Liners, Car Quotes, Car Jokes…

Car One Liners

Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I’m driving.

Children in the back seats of cars cause accidents, but accidents in the back seats of cars cause children.

Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? He’s all right now.

Don’t drink while driving – you will spill the beer.

Get a new car for your spouse – it’ll be a great trade!

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

How can you tell when the Mexicans have moved into your neighborhood? The Blacks get car insurance.

I bought a new Japanese car. I turned on the radio… I don’t understand a word they’re saying.

If the other driver had stopped a few yards behind himself the accident would not have happened.

If you want to change your life significantly just walk to the Mercedes-Benz 600 standing at the junction, take a brick and throw it into the windshield.

I had to stop drinking, cause I got tired of waking up in my car driving 90.

Isn’t it weird how when a cop drives by you feel paranoid instead of protected.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

I work to buy a car to go to work.

My wife had her driver’s test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear.

These are all types of Funny Car One Liners. If you like these Car One Liners then please share them with your friends so that they can also checkout these.

Click for All Categories of One Liners

Read more in next pages…

My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag. Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.

There are a lot of female hormones in beer. When I drink five bottles I also can’t drive a car and start behaving illogically.

There were plenty of lookers-on but no witnesses.

To avoid a collision I ran into the other car.

What’s a mixed feeling? When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used rubbers? One is a Goodyear and the other is a great year.

What do women and police cars have in common? They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.

Why are men like cars? Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is cumming.

The post Car One Liners appeared first on Best Whatsapp Status Quotes Collection.

Christian One Liners

Get Best Collection of Christian One Liners, Christian Quotes…..

Why wasn’t Jesus born in the USA? Because God couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.

Why was Jesus a virgin when he died? Every time he touched a “wound” it closed.

Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why did God create stock analysts? In order to make weather forecasters look good.

Why can’t Jesus play hockey? A: He keeps getting nailed to the boards.

Why are black peoples nostrils so big? Because that’s what God held them by when he was painting them.

Which part of the Bible won’t you find a black man? The Book of Job.

When you get to your wit’s end, You’ll find God lives there.

What’s the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.

What is the difference between acne and a catholic priest? Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12.

What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common? Their balls are just for decoration.

We can’t help everyone, but everyone can help someone.

There’s good climate in heaven, but a better company in hell.

The good Lord didn’t create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.

These are all types of Funny Christian One Liners. If you like these Christian One Liners then please share them with your friends so that they can also checkout these.

Click for More One Liners

Read more in next pages…

The difference between the Pope and your boss. The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

The best mathematical equation I have ever seen: 1 cross + 3 nails= 4 given.

Temples are free to enter but still empty. Pubs charge to enter, but are full. People ignore inner peace &choose to pay for self destruction

Telling a girl to calm down works about as well as trying to baptize a cat.

Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews.

Prayer: Don’t give God instructions — just report for duty!

Plan ahead – It wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark.

Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.

Moses was leading his people through the desert for 40 years. It seems, even in Biblical times men avoided asking the way.

Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.

It is true that you may fool all of the people some of the time; you can even fool some the people all of the time; but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time.

It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.

In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma – but never let him be the period.

If we’re all God’s children, what’s so special about Jesus? This Guy is a goldmine.

If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

If a church wants a better pastor, It only needs to pray for the one it has.

If God is your co-pilot – swap seats.

If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

If Eve wore a fig leaf, what did Adam wear? A hole in it.

I’m not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I’m going to Hell?

I have noticed that everyone who is for abortion, has already been born.

I have as much authority as the Pope, i just don’t have as many people who believe it.

How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as an alter boy.

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

God must love stupid people. He made SO many.

God grades on the cross, not the curve.

Give a man a fish, and you’ll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he’ll starve to death while praying for a fish.

Don’t put a question mark where God put a period.

Don’t let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case.

Did Noah include termites on the ark?

Deja Vu – When you think you’re doing something you’ve done before, it’s because God thought it was so funny, he had to rewind it for his friends.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

The post Christian One Liners appeared first on Best Whatsapp Status Quotes Collection.

Get Best Collection of Communication One Liners, Communication Quotes, Communication Jokes…

Alcohol not only expands the blood vessels but also communications.

Back in my day, we didn’t watch TV while we ate dinner. We actually talked to each other. It was awful.

Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when I do criticize him, I’m a mile away and I have his shoes.

I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn’t complain.

I don’t date older women because it takes too long to listen to their life story.

I don’t want you to feel like you can’t express yourself, but I do want you to stop talking.

I like the sound of you not talking.

I was at an ATM and this old lady asked me to help check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Best Communication One Liners

I’m so introverted I won’t even talk to myself.

If she says, “I’m OK,” you’re fine. If she says, “I’m Fine,” You’re not OK.

If you say “I knew you were going to say that” enough. You can start billing people for psychic readings.

Imagine being 5 minutes from the end of the longest movie ever & it starts over because it forgot something. That’s my kid telling a story.

My speech today will be like a mini-skirt. Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to hold your attention!

Never marry a woman who was captain of the debate team.

Oh… I didn’t tell you… Then It must be none of your business…

These are all types of Funny Communication One Liners. If you like these Communication One Liners then please share them with your friends so that they can also checkout these.

Read more in next pages…

People say I’m condescending. That means I talk down to people.

People used to laugh at me when I would say “I want to be a comedian”, well nobody’s laughing now.

Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.

Say what you want about deaf people…

Sorry I didn’t text you back, but my phone recognized your number.

Take my advice — I’m not using it.

Text him again. He probably just forgot that he’s in love with you.

The hardest part of any relationship is when it’s not your turn to talk.

Whiteboards are remarkable.

Why do women have vaginas? So men will talk to them.

Why doesn’t a blonde talk during sex? Because her mother told her never to talk to strangers.

You can do more with a kind word and a gun than with just a kind word.

The post Communication One Liners appeared first on Best Whatsapp Status Quotes Collection.

Get Best Collection of Drug One Liners, Drug Quotes, Drug Jokes…

Drug One Liners

I love my FedEx guy cause he’s a drug dealer and he doesn’t even know it — and he’s always on time.

I said “no” to drugs, but they just wouldn’t listen.

I swear to drunk I’m not God, but seriously, stay in drugs, eat school, and don’t do vegetables.

Sleep is my drug….my bed is my dealer and my alarm clock is the police.

What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Who can make more money in a week, a drug dealer or a prostitute? The prostitute because she can wash and resell her crack.

Why is there cotton in pill bottles? To remind black people that they were cotton pickers before drug dealers.

These are all types of Funny Drug One Liners. If you like these Drug One Liners then please share them with your friends so that they can also checkout these.

Get More: https://www.mgstatus.com/one-liners

Read more in next pages…

The post Drug One Liners appeared first on Best Whatsapp Status Quotes Collection.

Today I am going to show you a Winter Dp for Whatsapp. From our website you can get the very best and most current Winter Whastapp dp download for your whatsapp display pictures. Everybody want to show great and Cool Winter display screen profile. So thats why I am a submitting a Winter dp for you. Every whatsapp user want to display best dp on her whatsapp.

Happy Winter Dp

So these are the very best collection of winter whatsapp status. There are the million of individuals who can utilize the whatsapp and they all are interested to change whatsapp. At unfortunate time you can utilize winter whatsapp dp. If you like this above given Famous winter whatsapp dp then share it with your friends. I hope Your Pals will like these status.

The post Winter Dp appeared first on Best Whatsapp Status Quotes Collection.

Life Dp for Whatsapp: Today I am sharing With you the Best Whatsapp Dp about life. There are million of whatsapp user who like to upgrade Dp about life. From Our Website you can get finest top and popular whatsapp Dp about life. We can likewise supply Distinct whatsapp Dp. You can get Happy Life and sad life whatsapp Dp. So collection of whatsapp dp is offered listed below.

Life dp

Life Whatsapp Dp

So all these are the collection of whatsapp Dp in life. Whatsapp is the instantaneous messaging apps. Which is used by the million of people to share messages sms quotes and pictures images etc. You can likewise get mindset life whatsapp Dp, Funny Cool and creative Whatsapp Dp for life. So you can download and save the life whatsapp Dp and on your whatsapp profile. So likewise share it with your pals I Hope your good friends will like this life whatsapp Dp.

Check Also:
Best Winter Whatsapp Dp
Rain Dp for Whatsapp

The post Life dp appeared first on Best Whatsapp Status Quotes Collection.

Punjabi Dp is mostly used by the Punjabi people. Now Roughly Every Smartphones people have Whatsapp in their phones. They also search for the Dp. Our website mgstatus.com supply the best Punjabi Sad Dp for all individuals that are in sad mood.

Related Post:
Winter Whatsapp DP
Life Whatsapp dp

This is completely Punjabi Dp in Punjabi Language. You can get Attitude Love Funny and Sad Punjabi Atitude Dp. The finest collection of Punjabi Att Dp for whatsapp are given below. Check this Punjabi Whatsapp Dp and show your status to good friends Girlfriends Parents and so on.

Punjabi Dp For Whatsapp

Punjabi Attitude DP

So these all Above given are best and popular famous punjabi whatsapp Dp for kids girls. There are the many individuals of punjab are wish to whatsapp dp in Punjab To helping the punjab people. I am Publishing these status in punjabi language along with Punjabi Gaint Dp in English Language. Punjabi is the mother Language of Punjab So all the people of Punjab like Punjabi Language Dp. Whatsapp is the instantaneous messaging apps which is used by sending out photos and videos to friends. Jatt Velly Gaint all punjabi dp are provided above. So you can Download this Punjabi Dp in Punjabi language & save it on your Whatsapp Profile. So also share it with your friends I will Hope your Good friends will like these DP.

Check Also:
Punjabi Whatsapp Status
Funny Attitude Status
199 Sad Whatsapp Status
Life Whatsapp Status

The post Punjabi Dp appeared first on Best Whatsapp Status Quotes Collection.

Get best Jealous Status in Hindi for Whatsapp with ultimate Collection, You can Check below jealous whatsapp status in Hindi.

Jealous Status in Hindi

एक समझदार व्यक्ति वह है, जो दूसरों के गुणों और विशेषताओं को देखता है, उनसे सीखता है ! न की दूसरों से…

शांत रहिये और मुस्कुराते रहिये ! यह काफी है आपसे जलने वालों को और जलाने के लिए !

उन लोगों के सामने खुश रहिये जो आपको पसंद नहीं करते। उन्हें जलाने के लिए काफी है यह।

मी “प्रेम” का करु ,कशासाठी करु, केल होत म्या भी एकदा “प्रेम” पन तिन पार माझ्या “काळजाच” तुकड तुकड करुन टाकल…….!!

निर्सगाला रंग हवा असतो.फुलांना गंध हवा असतो.माणुस हा एकटा कसा राहणार,कारण…….त्यालाही मैञीचा छंद हवा असतो..

नावाची हवा नाय झाली तरी चालेल ..पन नाव ऐकुण समोरच्याची 100% फाटली पाहीज..

• Jealous Status in English

The post Jealous Status appeared first on Best Whatsapp Status Quotes Collection.

“प्लम्बर” कितना भी
एक्सपर्ट क्यों न हो…?
पर…
वो आँखों से टपकता…
पानी बंद नहीं कर सकता..
उनके लिये तो “दोस्त” ही चाहिये ॥

जीवन मे दो तरह के दोस्त ज़रूर बनाएं ..

☝एक ‘ कृष्ण ‘ के जैसे, जो आपके लिए लड़ेंगे नहीं, पर ये ‘सुनिश्चित ‘ करेंगे की जीत आप की ही हो ।

और ..

✌दुसरा ‘ कर्ण ‘ की तरह जो आप के लिए तब भी लड़े..जब आपकी हार सामने दिख रही हो।

*****************************

लड़की देखने का
कार्यक्रम
.
( लड़के वाले बहुत सीधे लोग )
.
लड़का — आपकी शिक्षा ?
लड़की — MF. I.A.S.
.
लड़के ने आगे डिग्री की detail यह
सोचकर नहीं पूछी कि , कहीं वे
लोग उसे अशिक्षित ना समझें !!
बाद में वे लोग चले आये ।
.
२ दिन तक लड़का बहुत बेचैन रहा ।
जब उससे सहन नहीं हुआ
तो आखिर उसने
Mediator से पूछा …
MF, IAS , क्या होता है
.
उसने बताया ……..
.
#_Matric_Fail_In_All_Subjects .
.
लड़का 4 दिन से बेहोश है
♓❕✔

**************************************************

बैंक के नियम।

शाम के 4.00 बजे बैंक बंद ही हो रहा था।

ब्रांच मैनेजर के पास बेहद दिलकश और शहद सी मीठी आवाज में एक महिला का फोन आया— सर, मुझे 2 लाख रुपयों की तुरंत आवश्यकता है और मैं सिर्फ 10 मिनिट में बैंक पहुँच जाऊँगी। क्या आप मेरा इन्तजार कर सकते हैं..?

उसकी आवाज इतनी सुरीली थी कि मैनेजर मना नहीं कर सका

उसने कैशियर से कहा कि कैश रेडी रखे। कैशियर ने भुनभुनाते हुए अपने बॉस का ऑर्डर माना।

थोड़ी ही देर बाद एक बदसूरत चेहरे, बढ़ी हुई तोंद और अजीबोगरीब फिगर वाली महिला ने बैंक में प्रवेश किया और बैंक मैनेजर को एक चैक देकर कैश की डिमाण्ड की।

मैनेजर जो एक बहुत खूबसूरत महिला की अपेक्षा कर रहा था, ने उस महिला को देख तुरंत अपना इरादा बदल दिया
और कहा– देखिए मैडम, आज का कैश क्लोज हो चुका है और आप कल आइए

कैशियर जो रेडी था, ने मैनेजर से पूछा–
अगर महिला को कैश नहीं देना था तो हमने इन्तजार क्यूँ किया ??

मैनेजर- देख भाई, मैं उसकी हैल्प तो करना चाहता था लेकिन, ये बैंकिंग का अंतर्राष्ट्रीय नियम है कि
If Words and Figures don’t Match, Payment will be Declined

The post Joke of the Day appeared first on Best Whatsapp Status Quotes Collection.